Beginnings

I finally start this.

I’m ignoring Grammarly’s suggestion to go with ‘started’, but oh, well.

For a long time, I’ve struggled to write anything that isn't work-related. And, like most of my firsts, this has come with its fair share of apprehensions and what-ifs.

I think it might have something to do with me wanting to have it all figured out or, somehow, have the perfect picture of what I was going to write.

Or maybe because I just never thought of myself as that good a writer (it’s probably my imposter syndrome at play here), and every time I contemplated it, I couldn’t see myself doing what I would at least expect to be impressive.

Anyway, it’s the 31st of December, and something about the atmosphere of this day has led me here. The wistfulness of it all, with everyone putting out their year-in-review posts and posting picture dumps of their favourite memories (which I've absolutely enjoyed viewing!), new year resolutions and goals, it's about the perfect time to set your mind to doing anything. Whether or not this desire will continue into the next year is a different story, but I feel motivated, and that, for now, is enough.

If there’s anything the previous year has taught me (oops, we’re still in 2023), it’s the power of taking your life into your hands. And no, I do not mean this in the aspire-to-perspire way of talking but actually doing the things you want and experiencing life fully — as much as you can.

I love to read and write, and I love the beauty of words and the force that they hold. I love that I connect to art and writing in the most unexplainable ways, and I love how deeply feeling it gets me. And that I get to experience so many worlds and people through this is so incredibly beautiful.

I’m learning to lean into myself, too. And part of this is doing the things that make me feel the most alive.

So, I will write.

It’s going to take a lot to post this and finally make it public. But I’m going to keep at it and show up when I can.

Here’s to new beginnings. 🪴